No One Wants to Get Married Anymore
As dating apps take over the world, are we dropping the idea that one has to be married in order to be happy? Or are we dropping commitment altogether?
Yeah, I’m getting into it: 2021 dating culture.
I have some thoughts on it — mainly that it’s… scary.
I think about it alot, probably because as a single twenty-something year old it’s a big part of my life. I honestly never thought something as simple as dating could change so drastically. I was obviously aware of technology making it easier — ok, not easier, more accessible — but I’m starting to see the changes pretty dramatically now, to the point that it’s starting to affect me.
Have you noticed it too?
No one wants to get married anymore.
We’re living in a time where its more common to hear baby news than any kind of marital news. Everyone is just kind of… skipping the whole marriage part. Is this a good or bad thing? I’ve personally always been terrified of marriage and never believed it was for me… but watching everyone else start to slowly drop it as well worries me.
Are we simply dropping the idea that one has to be married in order to be happy? Or are we dropping commitment altogether?
I’ve heard so many times that commitment these days is hard. We dont face any consequences the same way our parents and grandparents did. You couldn’t just ghost someone if things didn’t work out, and there were always others to hold you accountable in some way.
And my god, the dating apps…
I’m all for them, when it helps someone who isn’t able to normally go out to find a significant other. I think that was the true purpose of these dating apps to begin with, to just help others. But who are we kidding? Almost each and every platform, be it Tinder, Hinge or Bumble has transformed into some version of a casual sex app. They are integrating into our lives in a way that I don’t like. They are becoming the only way to find someone as more and more people adopt a: “Why bother trying to meet someone in person, when I can just swipe right?”
That is what ultimately bothers me about our modern dating culture. From both genders there is an undoubtedly lazy mindset, that meeting someone in person is too much work. My girlfriends make me feel like I’m doomed because I refuse to use a dating app. Is it really too much to ask for? That I want to meet my next partner in person at a social setting somewhere?
Sometimes it feels like it is.
These dating apps have also put commitment to the test, making it harder for anyone to build a relationship, when there is always someone else around the corner. It’s easy to drop a forging connection with Sam, when Johnny is looking so much better and wants to hang out tonight.
We’re just so disposable and it doesn’t feel good.
A few years back, dating apps didn’t affect me like this. My brother met his girlfriend of five years on Tinder and they’ll most likely get married in the future. So what changed between then and now? I think in the last year, these kinds of apps really exploded and reformed, and now I’m seeing their new reality in our world as well as their consequences. The decline in marriage, shorter relationship life spans, and less importance on connecting in person.
What is the end goal in this new and transformed dating world? Do we still want to find someone to grow old with?
I don’t want to feel like I have to use a dating app to meet someone. It’s great that they are there for people who need it, but I don’t want us to lose the concept of reality and the beauty in personal physical connections. It’s so incredible that some people have found their soulmates in this weird era of online match making, but I don’t want us to rely on these apps or this new way of connecting to the point where real connections get lost.
I’m already feeling the pressure that I won’t find someone if I don’t get on Hinge, and thats ridiculous. I’m at a crossroads because if it continues to dominate over organic ways of meeting, I’ll be forced to get on an app!
And then what…?
Will I love it and become just as lazy as some of the others have become? Or will I break from all the ghosting and passing over as everyone struggles to juggle multiple people at a time?
It has made me think a lot about marriage and if there is a correlation between the dating app takeover and desire to get married?
In general social media has grown a world where choices are endless and quick to change. When this becomes your norm, something as long lasting as marriage can seem daunting. It’s the ultimate commitment, so much so, it’s easier to have a baby first instead of promising forever with someone. While a baby is also forever and a lot of work, it will never hold the same amount of pressure as trying to build a connection that lasts with someone in a space that constantly challenges commitment.
I’m going to hang in there and not fall prey to these apps just yet.
I want to believe that there are people out there who feel the same way as I do, and aren’t going to give up on the good old traditional way of just approaching someone you’re attracted to in public.
I can’t emphasize enough that I don’t hate these apps or judge people that use them. I’m just struggling to find someone in the real world, when everyone else is so busy in the online one.
How will my future partner find me if he is only looking on Tinder?
I’d love to hear any thoughts and opinions in the comments.