How To Be Good In Bed As a Woman

An extremely simplified how-to on being good in bed as a woman and all you need to know.

A few months ago I stumbled upon a podcast called Call Her Daddy, an immensely popular yet controversial podcast on all things sex. It was entertaining yet very vulgar, the complete opposite of myself — but I found myself listening to it often, coming to really enjoy women talking about sex with no filter.

These girls really know sex with men, so I definitely gained some insight on the subject matter and even picked up a few tips…

However, it also highlighted my inexperience and made me feel a little insecure about what men want. It had me questioning what really makes a woman good in bed?

I decided to do some research of my own, and by some, I mean a lot. As the perfectionist that I am, I took a deep dive into dozens of articles, listening to the opinions of real men while also keeping the podcast in mind.

So, here’s how to be good in bed as a woman (and it has nothing to do with appearance or flexibility!):

1. Initiate

Men pretty much always initiate sex. It’s almost become their job and we wait around for it to happen. How do you think this makes them feel? Like you are only having sex because he wants to. You need to start initiating every now and then to show him you want it too. It makes him feel wanted and attractive, and who doesn’t want that? Don’t you feel great when your man goes out of his way to have sex with you?

2. Enthusiasm

This was almost on every guy’s list of what makes a woman good in bed. Enthusiasm. Let’s get the definition straight:

enthusiasm

noun

  1. intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval.

It is similar to initiating in the fact that you are showing him you want and enjoy sex with him too, but more so during. You are interested in the things he wants to try and you are eager to learn if you don’t know. You need to be enthusiastic with your body and words, making it clear to him you are there for it and loving it.

3. Variety

Sometimes being good in bed has nothing to do with having sex. The lead up to sex can be just as good as the actual act. Men like variety and unexpected ways of getting aroused before ever stepping into the bedroom.

Make him think of you and sex in these subtle ways:

  • Don’t wear panties every now and then and let him know it.
  • Sexual texts: they don’t have to be raunchy, a simple “you looked so good this morning” can get him going.
  • Tell him you want him when out in public where you can’t have sex.
  • Sensually flash him a part of yourself when he is on the phone or otherwise occupied.
  • Touch yourself innocently. It is the equivalent of a man ‘adjusting himself’ in his suit for example, and for some reason very hot.

4. Comfortable & Confident

Having the perfect body doesn’t matter, but being comfortable and confidant in your body does. It’s okay to be shy or even nervous, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience, but being confident in your body — not hiding yourself, or trying to cover certain areas, makes him feel comfortable too.

You wouldn’t want a guy who is so insecure about his stomach that it hijacks the entire mood in the bedroom right?

At the end of the day, when a guy is about to have sex, he can’t even see any of your flaws. You are a goddess in the moment, so act like it!

5. Touch.

Women don’t do enough touching!

If you think all your man wants to feel is his penis inside you, then you are so wrong. Men love when you run your hands through his hair, hold his face, kiss his neck with your lips whispering in his ear. Don’t underestimate the power of such gentle interactions, it’s what elevates you from the infamous “dead starfish” to someone actually involved and using their hands.

6. Express yourself

First of all, moaning. Who doesn’t love moaning during sex? Here’s what not to do: replicate a porn star by screaming non-stop. You need to express yourself genuinely by moaning when it actually feels good. A constant stream of fake high pitched noise won’t turn him on, so keep it real!

Second of all, talk during sex. Let him know you like what he is doing, how he feels, how you feel etc. There is no need to go overboard with this one either, be genuine.

7. Kissing

Kissing is the first intimate act you engage in, so if it doesn’t rock your world from the get-go, it can be a let down for the rest of the evening (no matter how good you are at other things.)

The way you kiss sets everything up: your sexual tone, ability to arouse and how sex with you might be like.

Kissing tip: 1. Always match your partner. Think of it as a mimicking game where you want to mirror what he is doing. The best kisses are ones that are on the same wavelength. 2. Scared you won’t know his wavelength? Let him kiss you first, wait a couple of seconds to see where he takes it, and then proceed to join him.

8. Best of both worlds

Guys love sex that has even a little bit of oral involved. Whether you start with it, quickly take him in your mouth while switching positions, or end the round with it — sex mixed with oral is the best kind of sex for men. For some reason women view them as two separate acts, you either give oral or have sex right? So it’ll please him if you can combine the two.

Oral tip: Humming can help prevent gag-reflex by relaxing your throat, and always give oral like you love it — you want to apply all those enthusiasm rules here as well!

Put all these suggestions into use and you really can’t go wrong no matter how inexperienced you are and I promise you’ll be rocking a man’s world (and his bed) every single time!

Happy loving.

Eternal optimist and writer by profession. Navigating through life and all of its lessons while hopefully uplifting my readers along the way.

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